A Penniless girl, bad dates & plenty of oysters

I've got a pretty face & a pretty extensive urban spoon
wish list...
We all know that getting what you want in life can be tough. Which is why I've decided to let someone else finance my dreams. My dream? To eat in pretty restaurants without costing me a penny. You had me at Elk Tartare, lost me at chin strap. Follow me to learn who I screw over, bang and love as I navigate Toronto’s diners, drive-ins & dives.

If you’re not a looker why not take me to O noir?

So you meet me on the subway, I tell you I’m writing a food blog called restaurant tips from a serial dater and I tell you I’m an actress and you still agree to go out with me? Idiot.
Rule number one of sketchy online dating, Always have a back-up date. I might not be prepared for real life but as far as my dating life goes I’m always ready with back-ups. You can’t be too careful in this busy world what with the internet & all. You never know when someone might cancel on you, which is why I almost always try to have 2 dates good to go for the same evening. Tip: It doesn’t hurt too have a 3rd person you might call on for last minute cancellations. 
Cry me a river it didn’t work out with mystery man # 57
Good thing this gals got a string of unsuspecting men lined up.

This just in from the brilliant minds & deepest darkest depths of Reddit (where one only discusses the moral implications of throwing dog food on men for pleasure & dominatrix jobs) I give you the plan of the century, “I’d totally leave her with the bill! #genius.” I must say, just when I doubted your creditability & intelligence the minds perpetrating the endless jargon on Reddit came up with this winning plan. Good job guys! You keep on doing that thing you do where you go on a really long nerdy tangent and draw really exciting insightful conclusions, like “Yes I think we can all agree now Toronto would be considered a small city”.  Now back to something a tad more gripping my life
So now that I’m internet famous, do you think I can swindle some better looking richer guys to take me out? I hope so because ugh dating is a lot of work and sometimes this happens….that moment when you find out your date wants to talk & get to know you before they consent to dinner. BUSTING MY BALLS. Sorry bro ain’t gonna fly with this biddy. Oh yea & that thing you do where you keep “checking in” with me to make sure I’m having a good time…yah, stop that.
WaitstopI’m confused. Am I drowning innocent puppies or am I going on first dates with guys having them pay for my dinners and never calling them again? How about we leave our morals at the door and move onto something a little more interesting and I don’t mean the conversation with my date and I don’t mean this thread…
In a world where we can only “presume” my friends and family would be saddened by my death-I am after all a soulless women deserving a swift kick to the cunt. My better judgement tells me to eat on, wishing myself only the best appetizers!
  1. spudslut reblogged this from 1innea and added:
    This girl is truly inspirational
  2. cosmicblade reblogged this from 1innea
  3. 1innea reblogged this from restauranttipsfromaserialdater and added:
    i have found my twin
  4. restauranttipsfromaserialdater posted this