Stalker vibes are never good vibes. It’s when your stare lingers a little to long and your smile shifts from innocent admiration to something a little more sinister and everyone, even the waiters feel a little more awkward as a result. Or that moment in the date where you decide to formally stand up, cross to my side of the table and ask to kiss me…”No please sit down, that’s really awkward what you just did”. Schulich you make em rich but alas Don Juan’s you don’t make. The man’s got no game, mumbling about finance this & golf that. Oh and I know you think I’m really pretty but no one likes a doormat, so even though I’m really liking that you let me eat your portion of oysters and you let me eat half your entree, it’s time to man up, have a protein shake & stop letting women walk all over you. The Restaurant Woodlot, creative canadian comfort food without a twist. Voted one of TO’s best restaurants in Now Magazine at some point, though it’s all pretty run of the mill stuff here…what with the Micro Brew selection (something that is becoming a dime a dozen in this city) and the (yawn) rustic decor. It’s all exposed brick, men serving you in plaid shirts & butternut squash ravioli with sage- a dish that rarely fails. The Oysters were lacking in accoutrements (just the standard lemon, horse radish & mignonette sauce) call me high browed but I could of gone for a refreshing ginger-lime relish. Conclusion Woodlot does it right it just doesn’t do it that different.
Back to dating. When you have to stand on a street corner after dinner and try to convince your date for 10 minutes (while she is waiting for the bus so she can escape) to kiss you…yeah you should probably get the hint that it’s not going well. Saying things like “C’mon you are a Canadian girl not an Indian girl” isn’t going to help “loosen” her up either. Sorry Mr.Fuckingweirdo white girls just don’t get down like that….with guys like you…
What was that?
Please don’t be the sound of my creepy date crawling through my window or scratching at my door.